Music is my Escape
by Alyx Monticino
Summary: She is a singer, who has lost herself in her songs, he might just be the only one capable of saving her... That is if he can safe himself
1. Let it Play

Clare Point of View

IT was kind of ironic, I was singing for Alli's party, and Drew just left her to dance with Bianca. I had the perfect song.

_S.O.S, S.O.S  
What's up girlfriend, something's going on  
You got a look about you, tell me what's wrong  
Is that your boyfriend dancing with that girl on the floor?  
We've got to dance now  
Time to show our weapon of choice  
S.O.S is all I need to send  
Just a little text, I'm calling all our girls  
F.Y.I you know it's not the end  
Don't take it lying down, no crying now  
It's your world  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
Just get the groove and then he'll come back to you again  
(Let it play)  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
This groove you can't ignore, he won't leave you anymore  
(Let it play)  
S.O.S, S.O.S, S.O.S  
That crazy chick don't know who she is messing with  
Look in her eyes, she's mentally undressing him  
Now listen girlfriend  
Better step back right now  
Better get your hands up  
Yeah 'cause we're about to get down  
S.O.S, I'm calling out again  
Just a little text, you're surrounded by your girl  
F.Y.I, I know how it's gonna end  
Won't take it lying down, no crying now  
It's your world  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
Just get the groove and then he'll come back to you again  
(Let it play)  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
This groove you can't ignore, he won't leave you anymore (Let it play)  
Get it on  
No one stands a chance  
Can't get enough when we start to dance  
Come with me now, gonna shake it down  
Let's blow it up, gonna hit the ground  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
Just get the groove and then he'll come back to you again  
(Let it play)  
Let the music play, he won't get away  
This groove you can't ignore, he won't leave you anymore (Let it play)_

Both Alli and Drew who I was singing about, Alli seemed grateful but Drew seemed humiliated, but it served him right, nobody fucks over my best friend, especially on her birthday,

_Ah yeah that's right  
All you single people out there  
This is for you  
I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me  
(Cos I'm happy where I am)  
Don't depend on a guy to validate me  
(No no)  
I don't need to be anyone's baby  
(Is that so hard to understand?)  
No I don't need another half to make me whole  
Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't  
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't  
This is my current single status  
My declaration of independence  
There's no way I'm tradin' places  
Right now a star's in the ascendant  
I'm single  
(Right now)  
That's how I wanna be  
I'm single  
(Right now)  
That's how I wanna be  
Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right  
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good  
(I like who I am)  
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would  
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should  
(Can't romance on demand)  
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood  
Chorus  
Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place  
I know I'll settle down one day  
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way  
Eh I like it this way  
Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't  
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't  
'Til then I'm single  
This is my current single status  
My declaration of independence  
There's no way I'm tradin' places  
Right now a star's in the ascendant_

Alli took Drew away, probably to break up with him, the douche deserved it for being such a man whore, that's one of the reasons I preferred to be single, Alli should try it too, she shouldn't be tied down so much, she doesn't need any more guys in her life, it is unhealthy. Drew came back out after a few minutes, looking fine but I didn't see Alli, so I left the stage and went into the room that he had just left. There Alli was, sitting on the bed in tears, "He isn't worth you tears, fuck, no guy is. This is gonna start to kill you if you keep doing this to yourself, you don't need a guy to be happy, this is your party, you shouldn't be miserable, you gotta show Drew what he's missing, come up on stage and sing with me, we're legal now, lets have fun," I said, she sniffled, "Clare, I don't know what I would do without you in my life," she hugged me. We stopped in the bathroom to fix her makeup, and then we went back to the party to sing. We were going to a club later, just me, her, and Jenna.

The party was over and we kicked everyone out, and then proceeded to get ready to go to this new club. Alli was wearing a teal tank top with beads at the top and a black mini skirt with a pair of black pumps. Jenna was wearing a torn up purple shirt with a pink cami, black shorts, and black flats. I came out of the bathroom after getting dressed, "Clare, you look absolutely fuckable," Jenna said, "Yeah," Alli agreed, "I swear to God, if you put a pair of tennis shoes on with that, I will burn every pair you own," she proceeded to the closet to pick out a pair of shoes for me, "Alli, I love you and everything, but I can choose my own shoes," I said. I grabbed a pair of short boots to go with my black skinny jeans, and my gray plaid shirt, "See Clare, you can wear an outfit without your converse, if only we could get you into a skirt," Jenna said, "Fuck no, you were pushing it putting me in that dress earlier," I replied.

We made it to the club and the bouncer let us right in. As we got in, Funhouse by Pink was playing, not really a dancing song, so we went to the bar, "What can I get you beautiful ladies?" the bartender asked, "A martini, a daiquiri, and a piná colada," I said. Even though we all just recently became legal, we knew what we liked, I mean, we never were the most saintly. We had a couple more drinks while we waited for a song with a good beat to dance to, when "Dance Floor Anthem" began to play, "C'mon, let's dance, I love this song," I said, dragging the other two to the floor, where we began to grind on each other, Alli was in front, I was in the middle, and Jenna was behind me.

_She's going out to forget they were together  
All that time he was taken her granted  
She wants to see if there's more than he gave, she's lookin for,  
He calls her up he's trippin' on the phone now  
He doesn't want her out there and alone now  
Knows she's moving it, knows she's using it  
Now he's losing it and she don't care_

_Everybody put your hands up say, I don't wanna be in love,  
Feel the beat now if you got nothing left say' I don't wanna be in love  
Don't give up now, you got a reason to live say, I don't wanna be in love  
Feeling good now, don't be afraid to get down say, I don't wanna be in love_

People stopped to watch us as the second verse started, but there was a guy who caught my attention. He was tall, with jet black hair and jade green eyes. He wore all black and had what appeared to be a permanent smirk placed on his face as he watched me intently. He wore all black, but it seemed to suit him, "Clare, that dude is totally checking you out," Jenna squealed, "Which one?" Alli asked from in front of us, "The one in all black," Jenna replied, "Ooh, he's kind of cute, in the 'oh my God, I'm gonna kill you kind of way," she explained with a laugh. Before I knew what was going on, they stopped dancing and pushed me right into the guy, causing me to spill his drink all over us. I shot a glare over my shoulder, as I began to apologize, "I am so sorry, my friends- I am such a klutz," I stammered, "You have pretty eyes," he said, apparently not even noticing the beer spilled down his front , "Um thanks, do you want me to help me clean that up?" I asked, "You are just looking for an excuse to touch me, aren't you?" "My, aren't you one cocky son of a bitch," I retorted, "Maybe a little," he said, "So, what do I call such a pretty girl?" "A cab, so I can get far away from here," I said sarcastically, "Fine, I guess I'll just call you Blue Eyes," he said with a shrug, "Fine," I crossed my arms, he annoyed me, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away.

EPOV

I liked this girl, it was fun to mess with her head, "Could you stop just staring at me?" she asked in exasperation, "Why?" I asked simply, "Cause it bothers me, the only time I can handle being stared at is when I'm performing," she explained, "PReforming what, exactly?" I continued, "My music, I'm a singer," she said, with a small smile, "What exactly do you sing," I was intrigued, "Mostly pop shit," she said, making a face, "It's not really my choice, but my manager's 'suggestion'" she rolled her eyes, "So what kind of music are you _really _into?" "More hardcore stuff," she replied, "I would never have guessed, you seem too pristine for that," I said honestly, "It's the image I have to keep, I'd much rather be wearing something else," she sighed, "You look good, though," I said, hoping to lift her spirits a little. She smiled, so I felt like I succeeded, "Do you wanna leave this place, it smells too much of sex, alcohol, and desperation," she said, "Sure, go tell your friends,"

CPOV

"Um, I may just text them, they seem a little preoccupied," I said once I located Alli and Jenna, who were both having a steamy make out session with some guys. He laughed, "Maybe you should," he said, "I never got your name," I said, "It's Eli, I never got yours either," he replied, "I know, _Eli_" I said, "It makes things more fun," I laughed, "Send that text and lets get going," he sighed with a smirk. We went outside, and I noticed that it had gotten considerably cooler. I shivered and the next thing I knew, Eli had given me his leather jacket, "Oh thanks," I said, he chuckled and led me to what looked like a vintage hearse, "I seriously love your car," I said as he opened the passenger door for me, "Hey, I do to," he said in mock astonishment and I rolled my eyes.

"So Blue Eyes, where are we headed?" he asked, "I don't know, any thoughts?" I replied, "I honestly wanna hear what kind of music you have in you, not this _pop shit_ your manager makes you sing," he said, looking at me for a moment before training his eyes back on the road, "Okay then, to my house," I said. I gave him the directions to my house and when we got there, to say he was surprised, would be an understatement, "You live here?" he asked in disbelief, "Yup," I said, "Which means your Helen Edwards' daughter, like the famous designer, Helen Edwards" he stated, no longer as a question, "Mmhmm," I said, getting bored with this little game, "Sorry, but this is all just kind of cool, my mom loves yours' work," he said, "Is yours' a word," I asked, desperate to change the subject, "Probably not, sorry, I really am, back to your music," he said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, "It's fine, I get this reaction from all my 'friends' but then usually they just try to exploit me, my mom, and sister for money,"

EPOV

"I wouldn't do that, I don't need money," I said, "Well that's a new one, but I suppose you would have had to find out at one point or another," she sighed, "Blue Eyes, I'm serious, we live in L.A. I understand the whole backstabbing thing, my dad is kind of the president of _Deadhand Records_," I confessed, I don't know what it was about this girl, but I wanted her to trust me, "Your shitting me," she said, "Nah, and to think he started out as a shock jockey," I said, "I guess I owe you an apology, I thought you'd be the type of person who would just use me for money," she said, "Eh, no offense taken, I understand the type of things you go through, it sucks to be used,"


	2. How Could This Happen to Me?

**I'm sorry if this is kind of short, I am kind of just coming up with this as I go so bear with me, and now I shall begin with Chapter 3. Enjoy**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

Chapter 2

CPOV

"It still is a little hard to talk to you when I still don't know your name," eli stated, "Bummer," I said. We walked into my house, where I greeted Monique, our maid. I went into my kitchen followed by Eli to get a drink, "You want anything to drink?" I asked while digging through the refrigerator, "Whatever's cool," he shrugged. I pulled out a beer, opening it on the edge of the counter and handing it to him and then went to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka. When we finally got to my room, I grabbed my guitar and sat on my bed with eli, setting down the bottle. He was staring at me, obviously still trying to figure out my name, "Should I be offended that you know my mom's name, but not mine," I said, "I don't know, the only time I have heard of an Edwards daughter was once when my mom was talking about a car crash, I think the name she said was Darcy," he said, my eyes widened, "C-can we not talk about her," I rushed, he held his hands up in defense, "I'm sorry, I didn't know," he said, I shrugged, hoping he didn't think anything was wrong with me.

EPOV

I could tell that I had hit a nerve with her, but she shrugged it off and began playing her song…

_I open my eyes  
I try to see  
But I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight  
And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No, I can't stand the pain  
How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?  
Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound  
But no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again  
So I try to hold on to a time  
When nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No, I can't  
How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?_

I was curious about this song, but I really didn't want to ask in fear of upsetting her again. She stood up and went to her computer desk, opening a drawer and pulling out what seemed to be a newspaper clipping. She walked back over to me and handed me the clipping. It read:

_**Drunk driver steals the life of one of Hollywood's designer's daughters, injuring the other**_

_Friday night the daughter's of Hollywood's own Helen Edwards got the news of a car accident involving her daughters Darcy (21) and Clare (16). The impact of the crash killed the oldest daughter instantly, severely injuring the other. Edwards' ex husband is not to be seen as of yet, even after hearing of the horrific incident. There is still no word as to how the family is taking this loss, but we are on our toes, as we always are with this family._

CPOV  
"I could have saved her," I said, he gave me a confused look, "We were coming home from a party and she was a little drunk, but she demanded that I give her the keys and let her drive, we were having a great time, laughing and joking around when I saw the car coming, I just couldn't react fast enough, and now she's dead," I tried my best not to cry, but a few traitorous tears spilled from my eyes, "She was my best friend, and now because of me she is dead, my mom blames me, I know she does, I can see it in the way she looks at me, she hates me and what I did to her precious, favorite daughter. I hate myself too," I continued. He was silent, staring at the newspaper clipping, I took a long drink of the vodka, getting up again. I was looking for my sleep medication, "Are you really going to take that after you have drank so much?" eli asked, observing me as I popped four pills into my mouth, "Yeah, what's it to you?" I asked, "It doesn't seem too smart, usually you aren't supposed to take medication with alcohol," he said, "Well, you aren't a doctor, so I will do as I please," I said.

EPOV

"For all you know I could be one, and aren't you worried about passing out?" I asked, "It's not that bad after the first few times, I like the numbness and I don't have the nightmares this way," she said, "What if you don't wake up?" I asked, "I really wouldn't mind dying, especially if I get to see my sister again, you wouldn't understand," she sighed, "Wouldn't I?" I countered. She stared at me, "What would you know about losing someone you love?" she demanded, the meds and alcohol kicking in, "Two years ago, I had a girlfriend, Julia. We had a fight and things got out of hand, she ran out crying. It was a dark, stormy night and she had taken off on her bike. I ran off after her in my car, but when I found her, she was lying on the ground covered in her own blood, right in front of the car that had just taken her life. If we hadn't gotten in a fight, she would still be alive, and we'd be raising a kid right now, I killed the two people who meant the most to me, and I never even met one. Actually, I found out later that the kid wasn't mine, but it still hurt me that I could have saved them," she walked to me to try and comfort me, but then she passed out. I lifted her up and set her on her bed, sitting on the chair beside her bed.

Her bedroom door opened and I stood up, it was one of her friends from the club, "Did she pass out?" she asked, "Uh yeah, I tried to talk her out of it," I began, "It's a lost cause, she doesn't listen to anyone, I worry about her," she said, "Oh and by the way, I'm Alli," she said sleepily holding out her hand, "Eli," I replied taking her hand, "Would you mind if I stayed, just to make sure she wakes up" I said, "Fine, with me," she shrugged, "I'm two doors down if you need anything," she retreated from the room. I felt myself falling asleep, and just let it happen.


	3. Hurt

Chapter 3

**EPOV**

I woke to a blood curdling scream, then looked up to see that it was Clare, "Clare!" I shook her awake, and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes, then she clung to me as the doors burst open to reveal both Alli and their blonde friend, both dressed in pajamas, "What happened?" Alli demanded, "She had a nightmare," I said as Clare cried into my shoulder. They both left after Clare calmed down. Though she was still in my arms the tears had stopped. I had thought that she'd fallen back asleep, but when I let go of her, her eyes were opened and she was staring up at the ceiling. I jumped a little when she finally spoke, breaking the eerie silence, "The only thing worse than witnessing an accident, is seeing it over and over again for four years," she said, "I know the feeling," I replied, she gave me a questioning look, "Four years ago, my girlfriend and I got into a huge argument, she ran out, and got hit by a car. Dead on arrival," I explained, "How do you cope, you seem to be pretty well off," she asked, "I guess today is one of my better days, I usually cope by drinking or smoking," I said, "So you're a hypocrite," she said, a hint of a smile showing, "Pretty much, either that or I know from experience," I offered, "And here I was hoping that you were some hot doctor," she joked, "Not quite," I smirked.

"So when was the last time you visited her grave?" I asked, "Her funeral. I could never bring myself to go, it would just prove that she's actually gone." she sighed, "If it makes it easier, I will go with you," I said, she gave me a small smile, "I'd like that," she said. We went out to Morty and drove to the cemetary, after picking some flowers from her garden. We made our way to her sister's grave. Coinciedently, it was right next to Julia's. I watched Clare for an hour as she sat in front of Darcy's grave with tears streaming down her face, and it damn near broke my heart (again). All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and never let go. I felt a little guilty thinking that while I was in front of my dead girlfriend's grave, but something in me knew that Julia would want me to be happy. I sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me. We sat there for a few more hours and it began to get cold, especially for Clare who was just wearing a thin, long- sleeved shirt. I gave her my jacket, much like I did yesterday, and she gave me a small smile.

We left the cemetary after a little while more, and I took her to my favorite cafe for breakfast, it was currently 5 am and they had just opened. I sat at the counter with Clare, "Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards, two people I never thought I'd see together, "You never know who you will meet at a club," Clare said with a warm smile, "How was Alli's birthday?" Adam asked, "They broke up again," Clare sighed, I guess she was refering to Alli and her boyfriend, whoever that is, "I know he's my brother and everything, but I just don't see why she keeps taking him back," Adam sighed, bringing us each a plate of food, "You and me both, but I think they're finally over, she seemed pretty cozy with a guy at the club last night," Clare informed, "We can only hope," Adam said, "So Eli, how are your parents," he asked resting his elbows on the counter, "They're doing well, they're very busy, but they love their job," I admired my parents, and their dedication with the label, "Hey Torres, get your ass back in the kitchen, I'm not paying you to stand around," the owner, Spinner demanded, "You hardly pay me at all," Adam muttered, "What was that?" he barked, "Nothing, Spinner," he sighed.

We left to let Adam get back to work, "So, how do you know Adam?" I asked, "He's been my best friend since high school, and his brother dated Alli," she said, "And you?" "He's my cousin," I replied, she nodded and looked out the window. She looked bothered, "Is everything alright?" I asked, "I'm just thinking of a new song," she replied, her fingers began to move as if she was playing piano, "I take it that it isn't your usual pop shit," I said, "It's a song for my sister," she said and pain flashed in her eyes. I took her home and she led me back up to her room. She pulled out a piano and began playing. After a while she sang

_I'm sorry for blaming you_  
_For everything I just couldn't do_  
_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

She continued to play and eventually sang

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face_  
_You told me how proud you were, but I walked away_  
_If only I knew what I know today_  
_Ooh, ooh_

_I would hold you in my arms_  
_I would take the pain away_  
_Thank you for all you've done_  
_Forgive all your mistakes_  
_There's nothing I wouldn't do_  
_To hear your voice again_  
_Sometimes I wanna call you_  
_But I know you won't be there_

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you_  
_For everything I just couldn't do_  
_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

_Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit_  
_Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss_  
_And it's so hard to say goodbye_  
_When it comes to these rules_

_Would you tell me I was wrong?_  
_Would you help understand?_  
_Are you looking down upon me?_  
_Are you proud of who I am?_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_  
_To have just one more chance_  
_To look into your eyes_  
_And see you looking back_

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you_  
_For everything I just couldn't do_  
_And I've hurt myself, ohh_

_If I had just one more day_  
_I would tell you how much that I've missed you_  
_Since you've been away_  
_Ooh, it's dangerous_  
_It's so out of line_  
_To try and turn back time_

_I'm sorry for blaming you_  
_For everything I just couldn't do_  
_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

The door opened and Alli came in with tears streaming down her face. She sat down on the piano bench and wrapped her arms around Clare, who sat frozen; staring at the piano. Her phone rang and she answered it in a monotone voice, "Clare Edwards, no Caitlin, I'm taking a personal day, I'm always hungover, I don't care about my pop image that was your idea anyways, you know what, fuck you and your label, you're fired, yeah up yours too," she hung up, "Well that was quite the lovely conversation, and now I'm out of a label," Clare sighed, "Let me make a call," I said standing up.


	4. Confessions of a Broken Heart

Chapter 4

EPOV

I pulled my phone out of my pocket as I stepped into the hallway, "Hey dad it's Eli," I said, "Eli, my boy, what may I help you with," Bullfrog said horsely, "I met this amazing girl," I replied, "Eli, I don't have time to talk to you about your love life," my dad sighed, "No, she's an amazing singer, you have to hear her, her name is Clare Edwards," I clarified, "The designer's daughter, I didn't know she could sing," he was shocked, "Yes, she just fired her producer, and she needs someone that will let her do her own music," I said, "Well, can you bring me her demo?" he asked, "Actually, I can do something better, I'm at her house right now, I can bring her over," I smirked, "Alright, Cece and I will be waiting for you.

I told Clare the news and she was beaming. She changed out of the clothes she had been wearing, into 'clothes that were more her' as she said and she walked out of her closet in black skinny jeans and a dark green, cropped hoodie. She threw some converse on and we went out to Morty, "You drive that thing?" Alli asked, "Yup, that's Morty," I said with a proud smile. She got in the back and stepped on something, "Careful, you don't want to step on any dead bodies," I smirked. She jumped out of the car so fast, "I was kidding," I tried to say, "I don't care, there is no way I'm sitting back there," she said folding her arms. Clare rolled her eyes and climbed to the back, "Dude, your car is a disaster," Clare said, finally situating herself, laying down in the back seat, "Don't say that, you'll hurt Morty's feelings," I said in mock hurt. We drove up to a light that suddenly turned red, and I pressed down on the break, hard enough to send Clare toppling to the car floor, "A little warning might be nice," she grunted, "Hey Clare, we stopped," I said, I saw her flick me of through the rear view mirror.

We arrived at my parents house/ studio and we walked in. "Hello, I am Bullfrog Goldsworthy, Eli's father, and this is Cece, my lovely wife," Bullfrog introduced, Clare shook his hand, introducing Alli and herself. Bullfrog walked her into the recording room and he asked her to sing him a song.

CPOV

I asked Bullfrog for a piano, which he provided for me and I stopped to think of a song to preform for him... I mean this was Bullfrog Goldsworty; I couldn't just play anything. I thought of a perfect song and I began to play it. It was a song to my father, after he left me and my mom, a year after Darcy died; he still kept in touch, but it just wasn't the same:

_I wait for the postman to bring me a letter_  
_I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better_  
_And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders_  
_A family in crisis that only grows older_

_Why'd you have to go_  
_Why'd you have to go_  
_Why'd you have to go_

_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_I am broken but I am hoping_  
_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_I am crying, a part of me is dying and_  
_These are, these are_  
_The confessions of a broken heart_

_And I wear all your old clothes; your polo sweater_  
_I dream of another you the one who would never, never_  
_Leave me alone to pick up the pieces_  
_A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed_

_So why'd you have to go_  
_Why'd you have to go_  
_Why'd you have to go_

_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_I don't know you, but I still want to_  
_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?_  
_Cause these are, these are_  
_The confessions of a broken heart, of a broken heart_

_I love you_  
_I love you_  
_I love you_  
_I...I love you_

_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_I don't know you, but I still want to_  
_Daughter to father, daughter to father_  
_Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?_  
_Did you ever love me?_  
_These are_  
_The confessions of a broken heart, oh yea_

_And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter..._

"Wow, that's deep," I heard Bullfrog say through the mic, I nodded. He asked me to play another song, and this time it wasn't as hard to think of a song

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest _  
_Or the girl who never wants to be alone _  
_I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning _  
_'Cos I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home _

_The sun is blinding _  
_I stayed up again _  
_I am finding _  
_That's not the way I want my story to end _

_I'm safe _  
_Up high _  
_Nothing can touch me _  
_But why do I feel this party's over? _  
_No pain _  
_Inside _  
_You're like protection _  
_How do I feel this good sober? _

_I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence _  
_Crying scares me cause it screams the truth _  
_Please don't tell me that we had that conversation _  
_I won't remember, save your breath, 'cos what's the use? _

_The night is calling? _  
_And it whispers to me softly come and play _  
_I am falling _  
_And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame _

_I'm safe _  
_Up high _  
_Nothing can touch me _  
_But why do I feel this party's over? _  
_No pain _  
_Inside _  
_You're like perfection _  
_How do I feel this good sober? _

_I'm coming down, coming down, coming down _  
_Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round _  
_Looking for myself_  
_Sober_

_When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad _  
_Till you're trying to find the you that you once had _  
_I have heard myself cry, never again _  
_Broken down in agony just tryna find a friend_

_I'm safe _  
_Up high _  
_Nothing can touch me _  
_But why do I feel this party's over? _  
_No pain _  
_Inside _  
_You're like perfection _  
_How do I feel this good sober _

_No pain _  
_Inside _  
_Nothing can touch me _  
_But why do I feel this party's over? _  
_No pain _  
_Inside _  
_You're like perfection _  
_How do I feel this good sober? _

_Will I ever feel this good sober? _  
_Tell me, no no no no no pain _  
_How do i feel this good sober?_

EPOV

Wow, she can really belt it, can't she? Bullfrog and Cece had nothing but good things to say about her, and Alli just sat there with a smug look on her face. Clare removed the headphones and walked out of the sound booth, "Clare, you are amazing, I would be honered if I could produce you," Bullfrog said, Clare smiled, "Remember Clare, you're also out a manager," Alli said with a small frown, "That happens to be my specialty," Cece spoke up. Clare just smiled. They scheduled to meet tomorrow with a band so Clare could record her music with a band. We sat in my old room for a while. We were talking about something, and we ended up with our face inches apart. She leaned in and I leaned back, "I thought..." she began, "What, no, are you crazy?" I asked, "Excuse me?" she asked, tears shone in her eyes and I instantly regretted what I had said. She got up and ran through the door, just as Alli had opened it. She glared at me before following her best friend in her ridiculous heels. I couldn't believe that I had just done that, I really liked her, but thoughts of Julia stopped me.

* * *

**Hey, I know there are parts of this story that need work like when I posted how Julia died twice, but right now I am just trying to move foward with this story, because this one I am making up as I go, and don't have any written down in a notebook like all of my other stories, so I will be updating this one more often than my other ones because it is more convenient, and coming up shortly I should have more time for the other stories, so until then stay tuned? Sorry I don't want to be the type of author that demands people to review or no chapter, it seems wrong. Also, I will start posting what songs I use in the chapter as an A/N, so what we've missed:**

Chapter 1 **S.O.S (Let It Play)- Jordin Sparks, Single- Natasha Bedingfeild, Dance Floor Anthem- Good Charlotte**

**Chapter 2 Untitled- Simple Plan**

**Chapter 3 Hurt- Christina Aguilera**

**Chapter 4 Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)- Lindsay Lohan, Sober- Pink**


	5. Perfect

Chapter 5

CPOV

"Clare. Clare please slow down, I can only run so fast in heels," Alli called from a few yards behind me. I slowed to a stop with tears streaming down my face, "I heard it all through the door," she confessed after taking off her heels and wrapping me in a hug. We were outside the Dot, so we walked in to catch our breath. We were greeted by Adam's smiling face, a smile that soon disappeared when he saw the red streaks down his face, "What did he do?" he asked, "I let him know that I have feeling for him," I began, "And he didn't return them," Adam said, "No, he made it sound like the most repulsive thing that he ever heard," I said with venom. I remembered that I was wearing his jacket, so I ripped it off of my arms and threw it on the ground, "Sorry to cut this short, but I want to go home," I said to Adam, he gave me a sad smile and waved.

We called Jenna and she drove us home. When we got there, I was greeted by my mother, who was drunk, "What's up with you?" she slurred, "Do you even care?" I asked, "I won't be talked to in that tone, I am your mother and I will be treated as such," I laughed without humor, "You haven't been my mother since Darcy died, I can see it and so does everyone else, you blame me and you always will, I've heard you say that you don't care about me, so just go to hell, I can't even deal with you right now," I ran up to my room, locking myself in. Well isn't this _perfect... _but I guess that was the story of my life. Well I had a record label, so I might as well write what I'm feeling

_Tell me what's wrong with society_  
_When everywhere I look, I see_  
_Young girls dying to be on TV_  
_They won't stop till they've reached their dreams_

_Diet pills, surgery_  
_Photoshopped pictures in magazines_  
_Telling them how they should be_  
_It doesn't make sense to me_

_Is everybody going crazy?_  
_Is anybody gonna save me?_  
_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_  
_Tell me what's going on_  
_If you open your eyes_  
_You'll see that something is wrong_

_I guess things are not how they used to be_  
_There's no more normal families_  
_Parents act like enemies_  
_Making kids feel like it's World War 3_

_No one cares, no one's there_  
_I guess we're all just too damn busy_  
_And money's our first priority_  
_It doesn't make sense to me_

_Is everybody going crazy?_  
_Is anybody gonna save me?_  
_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_  
_Tell me what's going on_  
_If you open your eyes_  
_You'll see that something is wrong_

_Is everybody going crazy?_  
_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Tell me what's wrong with society_  
_When everywhere I look I see_  
_Rich guys driving big SUVs_  
_While kids are starving in the streets_  
_No one cares_  
_No one likes to share_  
_I guess life's unfair_

_Is everybody going crazy?_  
_Is anybody gonna save me?_  
_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_  
_Tell me what's going on_  
_If you open your eyes_  
_You'll see that something_  
_Something is wrong_

_Is everybody going crazy?_  
_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_  
_Tell me what's going on_  
_If you open your eyes_  
_You'll see that something is wrong_

After writing my first song, I thought about my mom. As if on cue, I heard a pounding on the door, "Hey Whore, open the door I want to talk to you," my mother demanded, "Go to hell, bitch," I yelled through the door. This next song would be dedicated to her:

_Hey Mom would you look at me _  
_Think back and talk to me _  
_Did I grow up according to plan? _  
_And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? _  
_But it hurts when you disapprove all along _

_And now I try hard to make it _  
_I just want to make you proud _  
_I'm never gonna be good enough for you _  
_I can't pretend that I'm alright _  
_And you can't change me _

_'Cause we lost it all _  
_Nothing lasts forever _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _  
_Now it's just too late and we can't go back _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _

_I try not to think about the pain I feel inside _  
_Did you know you used to be my hero? _  
_All the days you spent with me _  
_Now seem so far away _  
_And it feels like you don't care anymore _

_And now I try hard to make it _  
_I just want to make you proud _  
_I'm never gonna be good enough for you _  
_I can't stand another fight _  
_And nothing's alright _

_'Cause we lost it all _  
_Nothing lasts forever _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _  
_Now it's just too late and we can't go back _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _

_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said _  
_And nothing's gonna make this right again _  
_Please don't turn your back _  
_I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you _  
_But you don't understand _

_'Cause we lost it all _  
_Nothing lasts forever _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _  
_Now it's just too late and we can't go back _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _

_'Cause we lost it all _  
_Nothing lasts forever _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect _  
_Now it's just too late and we can't go back _  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

I cried myself to sleep, on the floor by my piano.

EPOV

I had gone to see Julia again today. I turned when I felt a presence with me. It was Adam approaching with my jacket, "I saw Clare again," he said, dropping my jacket by me, "Oh, yeah?" I asked, continuing to face Julia's head stone, "Dude, don't fuck with her, she's on the edge of suicide as it is," he demanded, "Suicide?" I repeated, "Yes, suicide. Her mom hates her and is constantly drunk and degrades her everyday, here dad ditched her to move to the states and is getting remarried, and her sister is dead, she has no family left, the last thing she needs is some guy messing with her emotions," he said. He was walking away and I decided to leave as well. When I got to my apartment I tried to call Clare, but there was no answer.

* * *

_Hey Clare, It's Eli. Listen I understand that you're pissed at me and everything, but don't let your career suffer because of it, you're too good to be that stupid. Cece is worried anyways, so I told them that you would show up today. Please don't let them down. Bye._

* * *

**Songs:**

**Crazy- Simple Plan**

**Perfect- Simple Plan**

**fyi- in case you didnt notice, i have a lot of simple plan songs in this, enjoy**


	6. Bring me to Life

Chapter 6

CPOV

I hadn't left my room since two days ago, I hadn't even left my bed until my phone beeped indicating that I had a voicemail. It was from Eli, but I decided to listen to it anyways:

_Hey Clare, It's Eli. Listen I understand that you're pissed at me and everything, but don't let your career suffer because of it, you're too good to be that stupid. Cece is worried anyways, so I told them that you would show up today. Please don't let them down. Bye._

I had completely forgotten that I had a recording session, I also had a few choice words to say to Eli. I got out of bed, deciding not to change out of my sweats. I looked like shit, I felt like shit, and I'd probably sound like shit during my session, but I needed to go. I walked out of my room to see Alli walking out of her room, putting on earrings, "You look nice," I said with a smile, "Thanks, that guy from the club is taking me out," she replied, excited, "Okay, well I'm going to a recording session," I said, "Oh, that's today?" she asked, "Actually, It was yesterday, but I forgot about it, so I was told to come today," I explained, "Eli will be there, do you want me to cancel my date?" she asked, "No, I want you to go have fun," I said, "Do you need a ride?" "Nah, I'll take my Audi," I said grabbing my keys from my room and leaving.

I arrived to be greeted by both Cece and Bullfrog, "Hello dear, are you feeling better?" Cece asked, "Much better, I was a little under the weather yesterday," I said, I heard Eli snort as he walked in,_ Well I was feeling better,_ "Well then, lets get started," Bullfrog directed. He led me into the sound booth where there were three other people, "Clare, this is Kami the guitarist, Natasha on back up vocals, and Ryan on drums. Your bassist should be here anytime now," Bullfrog introduced as Eli walked in, "Justin can't come," he began, "What, why?" Bullfrog demanded, "His mom is sick in the hospital," Eli explained, Bullfrog ran his hand over his face, then he got an idea, "You can play bass, will you play until Justin's mother is better?" he asked. _Please say no, please say no, please say no_, "I guess so," he sighed,_ Fuck!_

I spent the first two hours teaching everyone some of my songs, and tweaking it so that we would sound how I heard it in my head. We were working on another song, when Bullfrog had some suggestions for one of my songs called Bring me to Life. He thought that if Eli sung some parts of it, that it would inhance the sound of the song.

**(Bold is what Eli sings, **_italics is Clare)_

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb  
Without a soul  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

**Wake me up**

_Wake me up inside_

**I can't wake up  
**_Wake me up inside_

**Save me**  
_Call my name and save me from the dark_  
**Wake me up**

_Bid my blood to run_  
**I can't wake up**

_Before I come undone_  
**Save me **

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

_Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life  
_  
**Wake me up**

_Wake me up inside_

**I can't wake up  
**_Wake me up inside_

**Save me**  
_Call my name and save me from the dark_  
**Wake me up**

_Bid my blood to run_  
**I can't wake up**

_Before I come undone_  
**Save me **

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

**I've been living a lie**

**There's nothing inside**

_Bring me to life_

_Frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love darling  
Only you are the life among the dead_

**All of this sight**

**I can't believe **

**I couldn't see**

**Kept in the dark**

**But you were right in front of me**

_I've been sleeping 1000 years it seems_

_I've got to open my eyes to everything_

**Without a thought**

**Without a voice **

**Without a soul**

**Don't let me die here**

**There must be something wrong  
**  
_Bring me to life_

**Wake me up**

_Wake me up inside_

**I can't wake up  
**_Wake me up inside_

**Save me**  
_Call my name and save me from the dark_  
**Wake me up**

_Bid my blood to run_  
**I can't wake up**

_Before I come undone_  
**Save me **

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

**I've been living a lie**

**There's nothing inside**_  
_

_Bring me to life_

* * *

As soon as Bullfrog was done with me, I went to my car. Eli followed me out, "Clare, wait," he said, "No Eli, you made your feelings clear on Saturday," I said, hopping in my car and driving away.

* * *

**Songs... well song**

**Bring me to life- Evanesences**

**I only kind of know where I'm going with this, so suggestions are welcomed ;D**


	7. Filler

**Procrastination, Woo hoo. I'd much rather be doing this than my homework**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

Chapter 7

**CPOV**

I was driving to Adam's, when I finally decided to call him to see if it was alright. He had no problem with it, which was really why he is my best friend, he always has time for me. I drove down town, which is where he lived and parked on the road. I walked in without knocking, because he knew that I was coming. I threw myself on his couch and he poked his head in the living room, "You want anything?" he asked, "Surprise me," I smiled. He began going through his kitchen to get snacks for us. Just then his front door bursted open, and in walked Eli, "Adam, I just don't know what to with-" he saw me, "Adam, I'm leaving," I called, "Clare," he said, "Let me give this to you straight, I do not care what you have to say. Now that this is perfectly clear, I am leaving," I said.

I had just gotten in my car and started driving, when I recieved a text message:

_Dude, are you okay?_

_Adam_

I was just about to respond, when I looked up to see that a car was coming at me, so I swerved into a telephone pole and everything went black.

* * *

**EPOV**

We heard a crash from the end of the street so we ran outside. On the corner, we saw Clare's red Audi, wrapped around a telephone pole. We sprinted over to her car, and tried to open the door, it wouldn't budge, so then we knocked on the window, but Clare was unconcious. I got an idea, so I went to the other side and kicked the window in, climbing in through the small hole, "The seatbelt is stuck," I called out to Adam, who had just got off the phone with 9-1-1, "Look in the middle console, she always has a knife there," I found it and began to cut the seatbelt, "Hurry, it looks like there is gas leaking," Adam said. I finally got her out of the restraint and with Adam's help, we got her out of the car and a safe distance away for when the ambulance came. Someone drove by in their car, throwing the bud of their cigarette out of the window, lighting the gas and causing the car to explode... Clare would love this. The ambulance came, calling for a fire truck and loading Clare up. Adam and I both caught a ride with them and the three of us were whisked away to the hospital.

We found that she had a small concussion as well as some minor cuts and bruises and maybe amnesia. Adam came in to her room after calling her two friends, "Neither of them picked up their phones, and it sounds like her mom is home, so I really don't think we should take her there," he concluded, "Don't you work Tuesdays?" I asked, "Yes, but I am staying until she wakes up," he said. Well it looks like he won't be waiting that long, because she began to stir. She opened her eyes.

* * *

CPOV

I opened my eyes to the blinding light of a room that I had been careful enough to avoid for the past four years. A_ fucking_ hospital. "How long have I been here, and when can I leave?" I asked, "Well it seems that you don't have amnesia," Adam said with a small laugh, "What happened?" I asked, "Lets see, you were driving from my house when you swerved into a telephone pole, we heard and came to see what happened, we realized that it was you in the car, and that the gas was leaking, so Eli busted your window and got you out a little before it blew up, you've been here for a little more than three hours, and I will go talk to the doctor right now to see when you can leave." Adam answered, exiting the room. It was quiet for a few minutes, "Thank you," I said, remebering that despite how I currently felt about him, Eli did save my life, he shrugged and it was quiet again. Adam eventually came back with a doctor, "Hey Clare, how are you feeling?" he asked, _well aside from having a throbbing pain in my head and an intense hate for hospitals, I am fucking dandy. _That was what I wanted to say, but instead I said, "Fine," "Does your head hurt at all?" he continued, "Maybe a little," "Alright, good, good. I need you to tell me your birthday, your middle name, and your parents names." He directed, "My birthday is March 5th, middle name is Diane, and my parents names are Helen and Randall," I said, rolling my eyes only when he went to scribble something down on his clipboard, "Well, your vital signs are good, and you don't seem to have any signs of amnesia, so I will give you this perscription for pain medication, and let you go on your merry way," he said with a smile that I forced myself to return. He left and I got right out of the hospital bed, ripping the needles out of my arm, "Lets go," I said after putting my shoes on. We all squeased into the front seat of the hearse and left the hospital.

* * *

EPOV

We dropped Adam off so he wouldn't be late for work, then I began to drive to my apartment, "Your friends didn't answer their phones for Adam, and he said that your mom is home, so I can take you to my house, that is unless you want to go somewhere else," I said, "Thats fine, but can we pick up this medication first, my head hurts," she said, leaning her head on the window, I nodded, driving to the pharmacy, "Do you want anything else while I'm in there?" I asked, she shook her head, laying it back against the window "The doc said you can't fall asleep," I warned her, "I know," she sighed, "This isn't the first time I have had a concussion," This was looking out to be a long night.

* * *

**THis is an extremely short filler chapter, but I am planning on writing another one right when I finish typing my lovely author's note right here..**

**Songs in the chapter**

**None**


	8. Not Ready to Make Nice

**I do realize that my last at the top a/n was about homework, that is because when I began to write the chapter, I was still in school, so right now the things I am procrastinating are chores... among other things, but there is nothing wrong with a little procrastination... Ooh, my bagel popped (:**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

Chapter 8

EPOV

While I was in the pharmacy, I bought some food as well as the perscription, because I remebered that I was out at home. When we got up to my apartment, she asked to use my phone to check the messages that were on her phone, so I gave her that, as well as the two pills as instructed by the doctor, and a glass of water. She checked her messages, well I put the groceries that I bought away.

* * *

CPOV

I called my voicemail to find that I had a lot more messages than I expected. There was the one from Eli that I had already listened to, then one fron Alli:

_Hey Clare, it's Alli, I was just calling to see how the recording session went, hit me up when you get this, love ya..._

That was sweet of her to care, the next few were surprisingly from my mother, one especially caught my attention:

_Clare, your friend with the beanie called... what was his name, A-Adam thats right, well he called the house saying that you crashed your car. I was wondering if you were alright. LIsten, I think it is time to have one of those family meetings that you'd see on those tv shows you watched when you were younger; you know the ones... where everyone would talk about their problems, and hug and stuff at the end... one of those... Call me._

And finally there was one from Jenna, which was pretty much the same as Alli's, but it was the thought that counts...

I decided to call my mom. There was no answer, so then I decided to leave a message:

_If you are gonna call me asking me to call you back, the least you can do is answer the fucking phone. If you call that half- assed message you left on my phone an apology for making my last four years hell, you can seriously shove it up your ass. You don't care about me, don't try and pretend you do._

I would have thrown the phone, but it was Eli's and I don't think he would appreciate having his cell phone lodged into the closest wall, so I set it on the coffee table. I felt the pain start to ease in my head, and being that I have taken these pills before, I knew that they'd make me loopy, so this should be fun, "Do you want anything?" Eli asked, "Nope," I said, he sat down at the end of the sofa, "Can you let me explain what happened on Saturday?" "You can do whatever you want, cause frankly I don't really care what you do, and It's your house, so you should be able to do what you want," I said, he sighed.

EPOV

I could tell that she was still pissed at me, and the pain meds probably didn't help with that, but she said she didn't care what I did, so I would explain, "Look Clare, I like you, I really do and I have since I saw you at the club a few days ago. I didn't kiss you the other day because I was thinking about Julia, and I just didn't think it was right for me to kiss you while I was still thinking about her. Before we can be anything I need to come to grips with the fact that she is dead. Can I be completely honest with you?" I asked, "That would be prefered," she said, "I am afraid to fall too hard for you, because I would not be able to live with myself if what happened to Julia, happened to you," A tear fell from my eyes, she got up from my spot, sitting down next to me, and wrapped her arms around me, "I wish that I could tell you that it gets easier, but I am not so sure myself," she said.

* * *

Adam POV

It was nine when my shift got over, and right as I was leaving the Dot, Alli called, "Hey Alli," I said, making my way over to Eli's apartment, "Hey, I just got your message, is she alright, where is she?" Alli asked, "She's fine, she is at Eli's apartment, and I am walking there as we speak," I said, "Where is Eli's apartment?" she asked, "It is down the street from the Dot, on the corner of Main Street and East Manchester Avenue," I directed, "Alright, Jenna and I are coming over," she said, "Okay, I will wait just outside for you guys," "Thanks, we'll be right there, we are going to grab some food though, how does Chinese sound?" she asked, "Awesome, see you then," I hung up, then I called Eli, "Hey man," he answered, "Hey, my shift just ended, so I am walking over, and Alli and Jenna, Clare's friends are coming to see her, they are bringing Chinese," I said, "Awesome, see you when you get here," he hung up.

EPOV

I walked back inside after talking on the phone with Adam, to see Clare scribbling something down on her arm in permanant marker, "Um, what are you doing?" I smirked, "I would have asked you for paper, but you were on the phone, and I didn't want to lose this idea," she said, pulling her sleeve down to cover it, "Do you want some paper?" I asked, "Um, nah, I finished it." I laughed, "Can I read it?" I asked, she sighed, "You are so needy," I rolled my eyes, as she lifted up her sleeve:

_Forgive, sounds good _  
_Forget, I'm not sure I could _  
_They say time heals everything _  
_But I'm still waiting _

_I'm through with doubt _  
_There's nothing left for me to figure out _  
_I've paid a price _  
_And I'll keep paying _

_I'm not ready to make nice _  
_I'm not ready to back down _  
_I'm still mad as hell and _  
_I don't have time to go round and round and round _  
_It's too late to make it right _  
_I probably wouldn't if I could _  
_'Cause I'm mad as hell _  
_Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should _

_I know you said _  
_Can't you just get over it _  
_It turned my whole world around _  
_And I kind of like it _

_I made my bed and I sleep like a baby _  
_With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'_  
_It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her _  
_Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger _  
_And how in the world can the words that I said _  
_Send somebody so over the edge _  
_That they'd write me a letter _  
_Sayin' that I better shut up and sing _  
_Or my life will be over _

_I'm not ready to make nice _  
_I'm not ready to back down _  
_I'm still mad as hell and _  
_I don't have time to go round and round and round _  
_It's too late to make it right _  
_I probably wouldn't if I could _  
_'Cause I'm mad as hell _  
_Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should _

_I'm not ready to make nice _  
_I'm not ready to back down _  
_I'm still mad as hell and _  
_I don't have time to go round and round and round _  
_It's too late to make it right _  
_I probably wouldn't if I could _  
_'Cause I'm mad as hell _  
_Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should _

_Forgive, sounds good _  
_Forget, I'm not sure I could _  
_They say time heals everything _  
_But I'm still waiting _

I was about to say something, when my door swung open, and the other three came in. Man I really need to lock my door more often.

* * *

**So... I feel as though I am on a roll with this story, even though I still have no idea in hell where it is going, but I finally unveiled why Eli couldn't kiss Clare. Feedback is welcome, but not nessicary... So I hope you enjoy, and I will probably go on to write chapter nine I think it is... yes chapter nine**

**Songs in the chapter**

**Not Ready to Make Nice- The Dixie Chicks**


	9. Back to the Hospital

**Third chapter in a day maybe? I hope so, although I have an hour and six minutes to accpmplis that... Challange accepted... (:**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

Chapter 9

CPOV

I wasn't sure, but I think I wanted Eli to ask what the song was about, but I wasn't really sure. Forgiveness was a main theme... like how I wasn't sure I could forgive my mom for the years of hell, or myself for letting Darcy drive that night. Forgetting all the shit that has happened to me... Like the song said, I don't even think I could ever forget anything... But with this concussion, I would assume that it was possible. Alli, Jenna, and Adam came in with Chinese, and that was the moment I noticed just how hungry I was.

We were channel surfing, when we landed on some sort of scary movie. It was terrible, but I guess that's what made it so funny. Then there was a scene, where the main character was running across the street, away from the monster or whatever and then a big pair of white headlights flashed on her. I cringed as the memory of the crash flashed through my mind. I heard someone yell to turn it of as I rose unsteadily, "I need some air," I said. I walked toward the door when everything went sideways and eventually I blacked out.

EPOV

I saw that Clare was about to faint, so I jumped over the couch and caught her, just before she hit the ground, "Clare," I called, lightly shaking her, but she was out cold, "Call the doctor," I directed to Adam. They had a short conversation, and when he got off the phone, he said that the doctor wanted to see her again, "Let's go," I said, gently picking her up. We went to the blonde's car and as the two girls got into the front, Adam and I got in the backseat, carefully setting Clare on top of us. We got to the hospital quickly, thanks to the slightly frantic driving of the blonde. In the back of my mind I decided that I really needed to learn her name, but that was way down on my list of priorities... I carried her into the room the doctor directed, and he checked her vitals again, but found nothing wrong, he asked if she had been under any stress, and I explained our day after leaving the hospital earlier, up to the point when she blacked out.

* * *

It was well after midnight, and the other three were asleep, when she began to stir. She opened her eyes, then immediately closed them again groaning, "I really hate waking up in hospitals, but I hate hospitals in general more," I was kind of shocked, "This is the second time you have blacked out today, and all you are worried about is how much you hate hospitals?" I asked, "You say that like there is something wrong about that," "Because there is something wrong with that," I said, "Listen, I know it's irrational, but ever since the accident, I have hated hospital because... because they couldn't save my sister," she gulped, I would have pointed out that there wasn't much they could do about that, but I had a feeling that she already knew, so instead I got up from my seat next to her bed, and sat next to her on her cot, wrapping her in my arms. She moved as close as she could to me and layed her head on my shoulder and I think we stayed that way for the rest of the night.

Alli POV

I woke up to see Clare in Eli's arms, and I had to admit that I was glad that they weren't fighting, because he made her happier than I had seen her in a very long time. I got up to get some coffee. "Hey, how is our favorite patient?" the doctor asked, changing his speed so that he was in step with me, "Good as far as I can tell, I haven't seen her up, but I think she may have woken up some time last night," I replied, "Good, that's good. I checked on her around midnight last night, but she hadn't had any changes from when she was admitted into the hospital, but I am glad to hear that, I will be around to check on her again, probably about an hour or so," he said, "Thank you, doctor," "Dr. Chris, call me Dr. Chris," he said, "Okay, thank you Dr. Chris, I was just going to get some coffee," I said, "That's cool, this hospital has surprisingly good coffee," he said, "I know, I've always liked it, but I haven't really had it all that often. I suppose you could consider that a good thing though." I babbled, he laughed a little before leaving. I got some coffee before getting myself some coffee, and returning to the room, where I realized that Jenna was up, "So, Eli and Clare?" she yawned, "Yeah, I am glad that they worked everything out, he makes her so happy... I really hope it lasts," I said as a last minute thought, remembering her last boyfriend, "Um, I have something to tell you," she said after taking a drink of my coffee, "We'll talk while we go get you some coffee," I offered.

* * *

"Clare isn't going to like this," I stated, "I know, which is why I have to wait for the perfect time to tell her," Jenna said, "Well, your digging your own grave for this one," I said. We were walking back to the room, when we passed Dr. Chris, who gave me a friendly smile, "Dude, Clare's doctor is totally checking you out," Jenna squealed, "No way, he is so much older than me," I said, "How old is he?" she asked with a smug smirk, "I don't even know, but he is obviously older, I mean look at him," she looked back, "Well, we'll just have to see about that," she said with a scheming look on her face, "No, no we won't" I said, all but dragging her back to Clare's room.

* * *

**I thought that this story needed a little more Alli and Jenna in it. I even brought a little bit of Dr. Chris into it. I hope you liked it... And, I did it, with fourteen minutes to spare... Three chapters in one day! Hah.**

**Songs in the chapter**

**None**


	10. Julia

**I feel kind of shitty, so I will hide my pain in my stories... Chapter 10, woo this is the longest story i have actually posted.**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

CPOV

I didn't wake up again until 4 am the next day. I groaned when I realized that I was still at the hospital, and that Eli was no longer by me. Someone called the doctor in, as Eli starred at me, smiling. I just wasn't in the mood to return the smile, I wanted to get the hell out of there. "Well Ms. Edwards..." the doctor began, "That would be my mom, just call me Clare," I sighed, "...Clare," the doctor revised, "You certainly know how to keep your friends on their toes," he smiled, I fought the urge to roll my eyes, "Not that I want to leave or anything, but when can I leave?" I asked, the doctor laughed, "I need to ask a few questions first," he stated, My birthday is March 5th, middle name is Diane, and my parents names are Helen and Randall," I rushed out, hoping the questions weren't any different than earlier, "Good, but this time I was wondering if you knew what triggered the emotions which caused you to pass out," he said, "We were watching a movie, and I saw some headlights which reminded me of the crash I was in with my sister, I was walking outside to get some air, and everything went black," I said as I began to get more and more uncomfortable being at the hospital, "Um, I run a therepy group Tuesday's **(1) **that I really think you would benefit from attending, you don't have to, but it may help you face your demons," the doctor said, handing me his card. I couldn't help but laugh, "I can handle my 'demons' by myself, thanks doc," I snorted. I was finally able to leave and the five of us made our way to my house.

* * *

The light was on inside, which was out of the ordinary, usually everyone was asleep at four in the morning. I walked in, followed by everyone else to find my mom sitting in one of the chairs, not drinking for the first time in a long time, "Where have you been, and why didn't you call?" she demanded in the most authoritive **(2)** voice that she could muster, "Since when do you care, or stop drinking for long enough to notice?" I countered, "You were in the hospital yesterday," she stated, as if that explained everything, "Yeah, and until quite recently, I was in there again," I said, "What, why?" she asked, "I passed out, please just stop this 'I care about you' shit, it doesn't fool me, and it is getting old. I am going to bed." I said, the other four followed me, and then we went our seperate ways once we made it to the top of the stairs, Alli and Jenna going to their rooms, Adam taking one of the guest rooms, and Eli coming into my room with me, "Do you want something more comfortable to sleep in?" I asked groggily, "Actually, I need to go take care of something, but I wanted to make sure you made it to bed alright," he said, kissing my head, "Alright, well I'll be here," I said lamely.

* * *

EPOV

I left Clare's house, stopping by the flower shop, picking up a dozen roses, then I went to the cemetary, to celebrate my dead exes birthday. "Hey Julia, I remember your name..." I whispered. It had become customary for me to sing this song that I wrote for her on her first birthday I had spent witout her since I started dating her. _I left a dozen roses on your grave today._ Roses were her favorite, they were beautiful, fragile, but also able to cause pain, if she had been a flower, Julia would have definately been a rose, and in thinking that, I realized that the same could be said for Clare. _I'm in the grass, on my knee's, wipe the leaves away. I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say._ Sometimes I felt that Julia was the best listener, not that she could actually respond, but there was always a part of me that could almost speak for her. _Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her. I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me. Now that it's over I just wanna hold her. I've gotta live with the choices I've made, but I can't live with myself today._

_Hey Julia, I remembered your birthday..._

* * *

CPOV

I tossed and turned for about fifteen minutes, before I decided that I needed to know what was up with Eli. That was when I realized what day it was, so I crawled out of my nice warm bed and went out to the garage, taking a car and going off to the nearest store, I had something that I needed to buy...

* * *

EPOV

I was brought out of the solitude in the cemetary, by the ringing of my cellphone, "Hey Adam," I answered, "Hey, where are you?" he asked, "The cemetary," I stated, "Oh, that's right, sorry man," he said, "Is something wrong?" I questioned, "Clare is not here," he said, somewhat nervous, "She is probably fine, maybe she couldn't sleep, so she went for a walk or something," I said, it concerned me that she was missing, but she was a big girl, and she could handle herself, "I guess that could have happened, but if you hear from her, give me a call," he directed, "Yeah, whatever man," I hung up with a sigh. Adam could get so worked up at times.

* * *

CPOV

I was at the cemetary within ten minutes of my realization. Eli heard me coming up and turned, his eyes were a little bloodshot and filled with confusion, "What are you doing here?" he asked, "You were acting weird, and I realized why, so I came here so you wouldn't be alone," I said, lamely. I sat next to him, handing him the single red rose I bought before coming here, "How did you know about this, and about her favorite flower?" he asked, leaning his head on my shoulder, but the curiousity still evident in his voice, "When we came here to see my sister, I remember seeing he birthday, and it embedded itself into my mind, I have photographic memory, and not a concussion could make me forget this, especially if it is so important to you. And with the flower... It was just a lucky guess," I stated. It also happened to be my favorite flower, but today wasn't about me, and I wasn't going to make it about me, "You are amazing," he whispered, "I try," I smiled, speaking just as softly.

* * *

**This came to me in a dream... and I loved the idea. There is more, but that will be Chapter 11... I didn't want to make the chapters too long, so you could have a break to process this stuff or something...**

**Notes:**

**(1) I really don't think the day is Tuesday, but idr... If someone can tell me that would be awesome...**

**(2) Is that a word, I am tired, and I don't want to take the time to look it up or ask someone, although in the time it took me to type this, I could have found out for myself... haha thanks**

**Songs in this chapter**

**Lucy by Skillet... Just replace Lucy with Julia (To make it go with the syllable pattern pronounce it _Jul- yuh _not _Jul-ee-yuh..._**

**And finally, because I feel generous... a sneak peak... woo hoo**

* * *

_EPOV_

_"Can I ask you to do me one favor today?" I whispered, breaking the seemingly everpresent silence that seemed to linger in the cemetary, "Anything," she breathed, "Go to the therapy with me..."_

* * *

**Yes it was short, but it is just a taste of what is to come...**

**Alyxx Monticino**


	11. September 28th

**Sorry about the incredibly long Authors Note at the bottom of last chapter, I just had a lot to say... but without further a do, Chapter 11**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

Chapter 11

EPOV

"Can I ask you to do me one favor today?" I whispered, breaking the seemingly everpresent silence that seemed to linger in the cemetary, "Anything," she breathed, "Go to the therapy with me?" I asked, pleading her with my eyes, I know she thought she didn't need help 'facing her demons' as Dr. Chris called it, but I felt that if she was there, maybe I could face my own, while facing hers in the process. I saw the look on her face, I knew she wanted badly to say _"Anything... but that,"_ but it seemed like she thought about it for a moment, sighing and giving me the response of, "I should have guessed," I looked into her eyes, "What is the real reason that you won't go?" I asked, she was silent. Just when I though that she'd completely ignored my question, she said, in barely a whisper, "I'm scared," I held her close to me, "That is why I will be there with you," I said. I pulled back to stare into her eyes, and then with another sigh, I saw a look of resign in her eyes, right then is when I knew I had won.

* * *

We went to her house so we could get ready. We walked in to see Alli and the blonde sitting on the couch and Adam pacing. _Shit!_ I forgot to call Adam back. All three looked up when we walked in and Adam shot me the dirtiest look and I gave him an apologetic shrug, "I'm sorry, I forgot to call you," I said honestly, "I got caught up in other things," I said. When I told him that we needed to get ready for group therapy, he eased up a little. Clare went up to her room to change out of the shorts and tank top she was wearing. Adam had to go off to work, which he borrowed Alli's car for, and Alli went into the kitchen to make some food for her and the blonde, so it just left me and her standing somewhat akwardly in the living room, "I know it is stupid for me to have waited so long to ask this, but I never caught your name," I said, she smiled and with a roll of her eyes she stuck out her hand, "Hi, I am Jenna, Jenna Middleton," "Eli," I replied, taking her hand and shaking it, "Oh, I know your name," she giggled. I ran out of things to say, so I was relieved when Clare came running down the stairs wearing some dark skinny jeans, a black band tee, and some black Nikes.

* * *

The ride was silent as she sat in the passanger, hugging her knees to her chest and looking out the window. While keeping my eyes trained on the road, I took her hand and gave it a light squeeze, "Everything will be okay, I promise," I smiled and she seemed a little less tense. We pulled up to the place and I got out, walking around to the passanger side and opened the door, holding my hand out to help her out. She looked me in the eye, seeming to finally realize that we were really going to do this. She sighed again, finally grabbing my hand so we could walk inside. We got to the door of the room that we'd be in, and walked in. There was a group of fifteen more or less, all of which stared at us as we walked in. I felt her grab my hand in a death grip, "Ah, Clare, Eli, I'm glad that you two could make it," Dr. Chris smiled. We found our seats just as he gave the reminder, "Remember class, nothing said here leaves this room," he said looking from face to face.

* * *

CPOV

I was nervous as hell, holding the bottom of my seat to hopefully keep me from bolting. Eli seemed to sense my discomfort as he did in the car, and he grabbed my hand again, rubbing the back of it with his thumb, "Okay, while we are waiting for our guest speaker, why don't we get to know eachother, let's go around the room and tell us your name, and age," Dr. Chris decided, "I will go first, I am Doctor Liam Christopoulos, but I prefer Dr. Chris, and I am 25," It went around the room until it came to me, but I refused to speak, "This is Clare Edwards, and I am Eli Goldsworthy," Eli said with a sigh. Everyone else said what was expected, and we were just about to start saying our favorite color, when a guy in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit came in followed by two security guards, "Ah yes, our guest speaker," Dr. Chris clapped. I studied him for a moment, he seemed vaguely familiar and that made me uneasy, "Hi, my name is Jerry Orahm, I am here because my past haunts me, four years ago I was arrested for drunk driving," he began, "It had been a long hard day, so after work I went to the bar and had a few drinks, then I made the mistake of getting in my car. I passed out and hit another car," he had sadness in his eyes, but why did that affect me? "What would you do if you could change what happened?" Dr. Chris prodded, "I would go back to that September 28th night..." he never finished. No! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I suddenly felt the urge to get sick, so I ran for the door, hurdling an empty chair on my way. I ran into the nearest womens room.

* * *

**I will write the rest of this in the morning, but for right now, I need to get some Z's... Haha, night all...**

**Alyxx Monticino**


	12. The Truth, Clare

**So I have a question... How is the length of these chapters, I try to keep it at about a thousand words per chapter, but is that enough, or too much...? Feedback would be nice...**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

EPOV

I bolted out of the room right after Clare, ignoring the secretary at the front desk who told me not to go into the womens room. I caught up to her, just in time to grab her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach. Even after her stomach was empty, she continued to retch. Eventually she collapsed into me, crying into my shirt. I just held her as she cried, hoping that she would be able to tell me because I hated seeing her like this. Her tears subsided, and she looked up at me with cloudy eyes, "It was him," she said, I was confused, and she caught onto that, "September 28th 2007, the day he was put in jail, was the day he passed out behind the wheel, hitting the car that my sister and I were in," she said, as tears streamed down her face. How could I have not remembered that, in the back of my mind I saw the clipping that she showed me the first night I met her, "Please don't cry," I begged, I know that she had every reason to cry, but with every tear of hers that fell, my heart broke a little more, "I am so sorry for making you come," I said, holding her again, "I want to go back," she stated, "You don't have to," I assured her, "I want to," she repeated. I would not say no to her.

* * *

CPOV

We were exiting the bathroom, when I saw him coming down the hall with the two security guards, so I pushed Eli back inside the bathroom as they passed, "Sorry," I whispered as he rubbed his back, after hitting the wall. We walked back into the group session, and Dr. Chris looked at us with guilty eyes, but then turned back to the class, "Who would like to share their story," he asked with a slightly waivering voice, no one rose their hand, "I will," I said quietly, raising my hand, "Okay Clare, very good," I stood up, closing my eyes for a moment, "Hi, I am Clare Edwards and I am 22 years old," I said, realizing that I never really answered the question from earlier, "I guess my problems really started when I was 15 years old, as a sophmore in high school, I had to deal with my parents constant fighting, but I wasn't alone then, I had my sister, D-Darcy with me, she was a senior at the time, and we used each other to make it through the oncoming divorce that everyone saw coming, well everyone at home that is, the rest of the world thought of us as the perfect Christian family, but that was never really true, my parents were just too different for their marrige to last, a year later Darcy went off to college, leaving me to deal with the divorce by myself, until one day she came home to my mom's house, here in L. A. with a proposition for my mother. I had spent the past few months moving from mom's house to dad's, so I never really had a chance to settle down in one place. Darcy knew this, so she offered to have me live with her in L. A. where all of my friends were, she would transfer from the University off Toronto, to the Univerity of Southern California just for me. My parents talked it over, but finally agreed." I sighed, "On the night of September 28th, 2007, my sister and I went to a party to celebrate our newfound freedom. She had a few drinks, and then we were ready to leave, I begged her to let me drive, but she kept claiming that she was fine to drive," I closed my eyes again, "I let her drive, and we were doing fine, we sang along with the radio, and we were at a light that just turned green, so she decided to go, I looked out her window to see a pair of headlights that kept getting bigger and bigger, running their red light, and the last thing I heard before I blacked out was the sound of my sister's scream and the sound of metal hitting metal. I woke up to see our car flipped upside down with us still in it, and I turned to see blood pouring from my sister's stomach, _Clare_ she said to me, _I am not going to make it, but I need you to promise me one thing today, _I told her that I would do anything for her, her last words to me were _Never give up on your music, with it I will never be far from you._" I gasped, "Clare, you don't have to do this," Eli said, low enough for only me to hear. I held my hand up to him, I was going to do this today, and I would get it all out, "She was the reason that I got into music, and she has been my muse ever since. Since then I haven't had a civil conversation with my mom, who blames me for Darcy's death, and I haven't even spoken to my dad since before the accident, but I think the reason for that is just that he has given up on me. I self medicate myself everynight with sleeping pills and vodka so I can make it through the night without nightmares, but I want to change, and that's why I am here." I thought I was done, but then remembered, "You all saw me run out of the room earlier, that is because the man that was speaking was the one who killed my sister, and I just couldn't look him in the eyes. Thank you," I sat down.

* * *

EPOV

"Thank you Clare. Well, that is all the time we have today, we will meet again next Tuesday, same time, same place," Dr. Chris said. Everyone got up, as did Clare and I. I took her hand and we were about to walk out, when Dr. Chris stopped us, and I had no will to talk with him, after putting Clare through this shit, I was just as sick of myself at the moment, "I am so sorry about that, I never pieced it together," he said, I wanted to laugh, "It's fine, I had to face my demons, like you said," Clare whispered, "Right," he sighed, "I know it sounds frightening, but I think you would benefit from some one on one therepy, Eli could come with you until you are comfortable with going by youself," _Damn right I will..._ "I will consider it," she said, looking around, wanting badly to leave. He let us go, and we went out to Morty. I opened her door and she crawled in, then I went around to the drivers side, getting in, which was when I noticed that she was sitting, curled up in a ball, crying into her knees. I pulled her into me, "I am so sorry, I should have never made you come, we don't have to go back," I whispered into her hair, "I want to go back, I need to do this," she said, "You really are a wonder," I comented, she looked up at me as the last of her tears fell from her eyes and gave me a small smile, next week was my turn, I would make her proud.

* * *

**So... some deep shit, huh? Next chapter will be set a week after this, and we will get the in deep about Eli and Julia.**

**Toodles,**

**Alyxx Monticino**


	13. The Truth, Eli and a Party

**So I got my chores done, so I am going to work on another chapter, I really like how it is going...**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

EPOV

_1 week later..._

So Clare and I were growing closer than ever. We were going back to the group therapy, today was my turn to share my story. I drove us to the place and we got out and walked in. We were few minutes early, so we sat there and watched as the people from last week began to file in, and I prepared for what I was going to say. Dr. Chris finally called us together, "Who would like to begin today, "I will, I suppose," I sighed, it was Clare's turn to squeeze my hand, I stood, "Hi, I am Eli Goldsworthy, and I am 24 years old," I began, "When I was a sophmore in high school, I began to date a girl, her name was Julia. We got really close, and eventually she moved in with me after having family troubles. We dated throughout high school and two years into college, that was when I found out that she cheated on me with someone, and she was pregnant with their child. We got into a pretty big arguement, which ended with her running out of our appartment. Against my better judgement, I followed after her. It had been pouring on that particular night, and someone lost control of their car, and hit her, killing her on impact. I was furious with her for what she did to me, but even then I didn't wish that on her. After a while I was diagnosed with Secondary Insomnia which was caused by the depression of losing Julia. I feel as though her death was my fault." I said.

* * *

For some reason, therapy seemed to go faster today than it did last week, but I didn't put too much thought into that, at the moment I was still thinking about Julia. I pulled in to Clare's super long driveway. I parked behind Alli's car, getting out and coming around to open her door, helping her out. We walked in to see Jenna and Alli dressed up, and Adam nowhere to be found, "What's the occasion?" I asked, "Adam wants us to go to a party, he wants you two to go too, so hopefully you don't have any plans," Alli said as Adam came down the stairs, "No we don't have any plans, and I am all up for a party," Clare said, I sighed, knowing that if she went, I would have to as well, "Fiona is throwing a party," Adam explained, struggling with the tie he was putting on, so Clare helped him, "And we absolutly have to meet the future Mrs. Torres, it would be really good for you to get to know your future cousin in law," Clare said, as she straightened his tie, I laughed, "I guess I will go," I said, "Good, now go home and get ready, then come back when you are," Clare said pushing me out the door and shutting the door.

* * *

CPOV

I was happy that I would finally get to meet Fiona. I walked up to my room to take a quick shower, then I straigthened my hair so that it reached down my back, then pulled it in a side ponytail. I walked into my closet, choosing a purple sleeveless cocktail dress and a pair of open toed ankle boots. I walked back into my bathroom applying purple eyeliner and eye shadow, then some mascara, and finally I was ready. I walked downstair and the other three went silent. I did a 360, "How do I look?" I asked, "Damn Clare, since when were you the fashion foward type?" Alli asked, "Um, since I met you... I didn't exactly get a choice on what I wore when I met you, I guess I picked up some of what you said to avoid conflict," I explained, "Oh my God, this is the proudest moment of my life," Alli said, pretending to wipe a tear away. I was about to say something when Eli walked in the door, he took one look at me and his jaw dropped, "Good, Eli is here. Now we can go," Adam said, all but pushing us out the door. Eli opened my door for me and I got in. We pulled out and followed Adam toward Fiona's house, "You look really amazing tonight," Eli said, after riding a few minutes in silence, "Thanks," I replied, then we went back into silence, as I began to think about something that had been on my mind recently, "Eli," I said, "Hmm...?" he asked, "What are we?" I asked after a slight pause, "We are whatever you want us to be," he smirked, "That doesn't exactly help me," I stated, "I am ready to take the next step, if you are then I guess we are boyfriend and girlfriend, how does that sound?" he asked, "That sounds great," I smiled.

* * *

EPOV

We had been at Fiona's party for about an hour, and Clare was going back to the drink table, "Are you sure you don't want another drink?" she asked, "Are you sure you do, you have already had three," I countered, "I am living, you should try it," she said, "Fine, get me whatever you are having," I said. The truth is that I am a compulsive drinker, so whenever I am thinking about something, I tend to drink more, and I get pretty shitfaced after only a few drinks, and right now I was thinking about Julia, so I was doing my best to stay away from too many drinks. Clare came back to me, handing me my drink, and we went back to the others. Clare and Alli were talking about something that I wasn't paying attention to, when a tall, thin girl with very curly hair came up, "Hey Clare, Alli," she said, "Hey Bianca, I haven't talked to you in a while," Clare said cheerfully, "Can you go away, I'm sorry I don't have a boyfriend for you to steal anymore," Alli snapped, "Alli, you have to believe me, I am just as much of a victim as you are, he told me he was single," Bianca said, "Well, he wasn't, just leave us alone," Alli said dismissivly, "Alli, she is telling the truth, I know it, you knew how much of a douchebag Drew was when you got back together with him, Bianca used to be one of our best friends, she won't lie to us," Clare tried to rationalize, "I can't believe you are going to take her side," Alli gasped, "I will if it's right," Clare shot back, "Well then, go off to your skank of a friend," Alli stormed off. _Damn, anger issues._ "She'll come around," I tried to comfort. Next Jenna came over, "Can I talk to you for a sec," she asked Clare, "Yeah," she said, turning to me, "I will be right back," she said. My drink was empty, so I went to get another.

* * *

CPOV

"So what's up?" I asked, she looked nervous, "I don't know how to tell you this, so I am going to come right out with it," she said, "Okay?" I was confused, "I am dating KC Guthrie," she said quickly, but not fast enough for me not to hear, "What, why?" I asked, "We have a connection," she claimed, "He is bad news," I tried to reason, "He's changed," she said, "You were the one who told me to break up with him when he started getting violent," I stammered, "He feels really bad about that," she said, "He won't after he gets in your pants," I stated, "Ugh, why are you so closed minded about this, I am with him because he makes me happy," she said, "Then go after him, you have my best wishes," I walked away to try and find Eli, I found Bianca first, "Hey, have you seen the guy I came in with?" I asked, "Last I saw him, but I will help you find him," she offered, "Cool, thanks," I replied. We began walking around, searching everywhere, until she pulled me to a stop, "Isn't that him?" she asked, pointing to a guy who was all over this unfamiliar girl, "Of course it is," I muttered to myself as I walked over to him, "What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, tearing him away from the other girl. He was drunk, "Oh my God Clare, I am so sorry," he stammered, "I can't believe you, we didn't even date for a whole fucking day," I said, as tears began to fall I walked away. Bianca saw me, "Come on, we can go somewhere else," she said.

* * *

APOV  
I saw Clare leaving Fiona's with Bianca, and I wanted to be mad, but I noticed that she was crying, so I rushed after her, but I lost them after they made it outside. I turned and I saw Eli rushing my way, "What did you do?" I demanded, "Um... I was dancing with another girl, and I may have kissed her," he rushed out, "I can't believe you would do that to her," I said, astonished, "I didn't mean to... I... I am drunk," he blurted, "And that makes it okay?" I demanded, "I hope you feel like shit, because that girl right there, my best friend, she loves you, and you just broke her heart," I walked away. I found Jenna, and explained what happened, "What a douche," she said. We went to the car, and went to find her. I'd call Adam later and explain. It was times like this that I wished that Clare still had a phone.

* * *

**I hope you liked it, I had to create some sort of drama, it was starting to get a little boring, but it will get better, and Eli and Clare will end up together...**

**Alyxx Monticino**


	14. Back to the Hospital 2

**I am sorry if I made anyone sad with the whole cheating thing, but this story is far from over, and I thought it could use more plot twists... Which I have planned**

**Please don't kill me or anything**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

EPOV

I had to find her, and I didn't care if I was drunk or not. I stumbled to Morty, and eventually was able to remember how to turn him on. I sped off to try and find Clare, but I had no idea of where to look for her. Where the hell would someone like Clare go at 3 am when she was pissed? Maybe Adam's, but would she still if he wasn't there? I had to check because it was the only place I could think of. I did a U- turn and soon I was headed toward Adam's house. I was well aware that I was well over the speed limit, but the sooner I found Clare, the sooner I could beg for her forgiveness. I didn't notice that I had ran a red light until I heard a horn as someone rammed into the back of the passanger side of Morty. I hit my head against my window. I couldn't believe it, how could I get to Clare now. I felt something warm dripping down the side of my head, but I also had to be sure the other person was okay. I wrenched my door open to be met face to face with a man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, "Hey son, are you alright?" he asked, "Yeah dude, I'm fine, wait one second," I felt bile coming up, so I turned away from the other guy and puked, "Now I am fine," he looked at me closely, "Let me take you to the hospital, you are bleeding," he stated, "No, I am fine, I have to find her, I have to find Clare," I panicked, "Sir, your are drunk and you have a big cut on the side of your head, that girl is the least of your worries," he said, bringing me to the curb, and sitting me down, "My daughter is coming with her car, and when she gets here, she will take care of your car and the police and everything, I won't press charges or anything, we just need to get you fixed up," he told me. I sighed, realizing that there was no way that he would let me go, and all this arguing made me a little lightheaded

* * *

BPOV  
I had just gotten a call from my dad, saying that he was in an accident, he was fine, but the other person needed some medical attention, so Clare and I were headed that way. She hadn't said a thing since we left the party, so we had just been driving around since the. We pulled up to where my dad said he was, and Clare sat right up, "That's Eli's car," she said in a worried tone, "My dad said that he was in need of medical attention," I said. I stopped the car and we got out, "Eli,"Clare said, concern laced in her tone, "Clare," he replied, trying to stand up, before swaying a little and sitting back down, "Don't get up, just stay seated," Clare directed, knealing in front of him, "He is losing quite a bit of blood," she said, "B, take your friends to the hospital, I will wait her for the cops," my dad told me, I nodded. We swiftly helped Eli into the back seat, finding a sweatshirt to put to the cut, to stop the bleeding, "This is going to hurt some," Clare said right before putting it to his head, which is nicer than what I would have done if he had cheated on me, "I am so sorry," he winced, "Shh... I know, just rest," she said, putting his head on her shoulder. We got to the hospital and helped him walk in, we got to the front desk, "You guys just can't stay out of the hospital, can you," the lady sighed, "I guess I should be glad that it's not me this time." Clare said, "Yeah, you are going to give you mother a heart attack," "She doesn't care," Clare stated, helping Eli to a seat.

* * *

CPOV  
Dr. Chris, it would be great if you could come back right about now. He had come and taken Eli away about a half an hour ago, and we hadn't heard any news since. I hit my head against the wall, "He will be okay Clare, he just had a small cut," Bianca said, "I know," I replied, rubbing my eyes, "Why don't you get some sleep, I will wake you up when the doctor comes back," Bianca offered, I was about to take her up on that, when Dr. Chris walked up, "He's fine, he needed three stitches, and we are going to keep him overnight just to be safe, but he is asking for you," he told me. I got up and walked into his room. His eyes were closed as if he had fallen asleep, but I sat down in one of the chairs anyways, "Eli," I said softly, he opened his eyes, "I am so sorry Clare," he said, "I know," I replied, "I never meant to do that," he continued, "I know, " I repeated, "That is why I don't drink that much, I am a compulsive drinker," he said, "Why didn't you tell me that?" I asked, "I didn't want you to think I was some sort of freak," he admitted, "So get drunk and do something stupid, or admit to me that you have a problem when you drink, what a great choice," I said sarcastically, "I... I get so nervous around you, I am scared that every minute we spend together could be your last, and I just can't shake what happened with Julia, I care too much about you," he explained, "So, you were drinking tonight, because of me?" I asked softly, "No... well sort of, I was thinking about what happened with Julia, and wondering if it would happen to you too," he said, "It won't happen to me," I whispered, "How can you be so sure?" he demanded, "I...I don't know, I won't let it happen to me, because I won't cheat on you," _Like you did to me, _"So then we won't have cheating to fight about, then I won't run off in the pouring rain," I said lamely, "Can we just not fight, I can't stand it," he pleaded, "Yeah," I replied, "Oh, and Eli?" I said, he turned to me, "I forgive you," I said, he gave me a smile, not one of his usual smirks, an actual smile, "Get some sleep," I directed, "I will be right here when you wake up," I said, kissing his forehead.

* * *

**See, they are already back together... I could never have them fighting for too long, it doesn't seem right for this story... So again it's time for me to go to be, but I will add another later (:**

**Alyxx Monticino**


	15. Lasanga

**I think another chapter is in order...**

**Alyxx Monticino**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

CPOV

I had Bianca take me home so I could change out of my dress, and into something more comfortable, then she took me back to the hospital. She left right after, saying she was going to go home. Eli's phone began to ring sometime around nine, and I answered it so not to wake him, "Hello?" I whispered, "Clare, this is Cece, I've been trying to get in touch with you, I heard that you got into an accident," Cece said worried, "Oh yeah, I am fine, I just had a mild concussion" I explained, "Oh, where is Eli?" Cece asked, "He is right here, he just got up," I said, noticing I had woke Eli up, "Don't tell her that I am in the hospital," he mouthed, "May I speak to him?" she asked, "Yeah," I said handing him his phone, "Hey mom, yeah I'm fine, everything is good," he began, pausing for a moment when his mother said something, "My mom just asked if we are together yet," he said, holding his hand over the mouthpiece, "Unless I am wrong, I believe we are," I smiled, "Yes, we are mom, I am excited too, I know mom, yes I will tell her, I have to go, love you too, bye mom," he hung up. Were we really that predictable? "I don't get it," he stated, "What don't you get?" I asked, "I kissed someone else, I thought you were mad at me, not that I mind being with you," he stammered, "Everybody does stupid things when they are drunk, I am living proof, I thought about it all night, and you have never done anything to me beyond this, so I figured that you deserved a second chance," I explained, he smiled, "Now when can I get out of here?" he asked, "You sound like me," I laughed, "I just realized something, you hate hospitals, but you stayed here almost all night," he stated, "Hmm... your right, I must really like you," I said.

* * *

EPOV

I was finally able to get out of the hospital after answering a couple questions, and getting a perscription for pain meds from Dr. Chris, now I knew how Clare felt, although her hatred was more deep set. Sometime during the time I was asleep, Bianca's father must have brought my car to the hospital, leaving the keys with Clare, I asked her for the keys, "Nope, I am driving, you just got out of the hospital," she said, "But I'm fine," I stated, "I know, I've just always wanted to drive your car," she replied, "Now get in," she directed. I laughed, complying. She drove us first to the to the pharmacy to pick up my meds, and then to her house, where we would lay low for today. When we got to her room, she handed me some of my clothes, and I gave her a weird look, "Those dress clothes must be uncomfortable, so I took the liberty of going to your apartment, and getting you some clothes," she said, "Oh, and I had to break in, before I realized that your door was unlocked," I smiled at the thought, then went into her bathroom to change. When I came out, Clare wasn't in her room, I was about to go to find her, when I heard voices in the hallway, "He has never done anything to hurt me," I heard Clare say, "What about the whole thing at the studio?" Alli asked, "He wouldn't kiss me, that is hardly a reason not to be with him," "Well, I am just looking out for you," she said, "I know and I appreciate it," Clare replied, "And if he hurts you again, I will hurt him," Alli threatened, "I know, I probably will too," Clare laughed, "Thanks," she was coming back in, so I jumped on her bed, acting like I wasn't eavesdropping.

* * *

CPOV

"So what was that about," Eli asked, "You were listening the whole time, she was serious though, she will hurt you," I said, "Yeah, she kind of scares me," he admitted, "Me too sometimes," I admitted, "She sprained my wrist once, "Ooh, story time," Eli said, patting the seat beside him, I laughed, "Okay, so it was junior year in high school...

_Alli and I had just walked past our friend Dave and his bitchy girlfriend Sadie, Dave had waved at us and Alli wave back, "What are you doing waving at that skank," Sadie had said, "What was that, Frosh," Alli demanded, rushing back to the other two, "You heard me, skank," Sadie said, I had been able to step in between the two, just in time to catch Alli's punch that was directed to Sadie's face, and I heard a crack, "If you know what is best for your, you will shut your fucking mouth," I said, she laughed, "I don't need the school's prude protecting me," then was when I punched her in the face and she stopped mouthing off to people after that, and I broke my wrist._

"That would have been awesome to see," Eli said, "It was pretty awesome," I agreed. I yawned, I hadn't gotten any sleep last night, "You should take a nap, need to sleep," Eli said, I agreed, laying on his chest and drifting off right away.

* * *

EPOV

As soon as I sad something, she fell asleep on my chest. I was completely comfortable, and then I saw what appeared to be a sketch pad. Carefully, so not to disturb Clare, I grabbed it from her bedside table and began to flip through the pages. These pictures were really good, there were picture of Alli and Jenna, even some of Bianca, there were also a few of a girl I had never seen, but I had to guess it was Darcy. My suspicions were confirmed when there was a picture she drew of her and her sister, which appeared to be from a while ago, seeing as though Clare had glasses and braces. I flipped to the next page and the drawing was of me, lying in the hospital bed, "I drew that this morning," she said, "Oh," was all I said, I starred at it for a moment more, before setting the sketch book in my lap, "How do you draw these pictures?" I asked, "Usually with a pencil," she replied, "No, I mean do you look of of a picture or something?" I corrected, "Not usually, sometimes I just watch someone and draw based on that, but most the time I just draw," she shrugged, "Can you show me?" I asked. She took the sketch pad from my lap, pulling the pencil out of the binding an began to draw. I studied the drawing as she began to bring it to life and eventually I could make out her and I. In the picture I was starring at her as she drew in her sketch book, much like we were doing now, "Wow, you are simply amazing," I stated, "You say that a lot," she laughed, "Maybe it's true," I said, "Maybe," she agreed. It was quiet as she put the final touches on her picture, shutting it and throwing the who sketch pad at me, "I'm hungry, are you hungry? Good, let's get some food," she said, pulling me out of her bed. We ran downstair into her kitchen, "What do you want?" she asked, "Food," I said simply, she rolled her eyes, "I'm feeling lasangna," she said, "Why lasagna?" I asked, "Because I love to make lasagna," she told me, "You make it from scratch?" I questioned, "Yes, doesn't everybody?" she countered, "No," "Well I don't do the whole freezer type," she stated, "Why don't we invite the others for dinner, like your parents, Adam, Fiona, Bianca, and whoever else, what do you think?" she asked, "I say that sounds like a lot of work," I began, she looked at me with a look of defeat, "So we had better get started," I finished.

* * *

Pretty soon the house was filled with the aroma of lasangna. I called my parents and Adam, all three of which were honored to come, and Adam told me he would call Fiona. Jenna called her boyfriend, and Alli surprisingly invited Dr. Chris, who accepted, and Clare called Bianca, so her and her father were coming. As Clare went to get dressed in something nicer than sweats for dinner, I wondered if people would notice if I wore the same thing as last night. Just then Clare came down the stairs wearing another one of the amazing dresses in her collection and holding a black dress shirt, black skinny jeans, and a red tie, "I actually grabbed a couple sets of clothes for you when I broke into your house earlier," she said sheepishly. I rolled my eyes, taking the clothes from her and going up to her room to change. When I had come back down, Adam, Fiona, and my parents had arrived. The other two came down from upstairs right after me and then the doorbell rang. It was Dr. Chris, Bianca, and her dad, "Is that everyone?" Clare asked, "Um no, I kind of invited KC," Jenna said, nervously looking at Clare, "Alright, then we'll wait," Clare replied, just then the doorbell rang again, revealing a boy on the taller side, with light brown hair, "Sorry I'm late," he said.

* * *

**So the next chapter will be the rest of dinner, as well as Clare's next recording session...**

**Alyxx Monticino**


End file.
